Finding—or Being—a Mentor
By Erin Douglass
Mentoring—marshalling skills and enthusiasm to help another individual achieve a goal—goes on all the time. And it isn't just at large companies with elaborate, structured programs; smaller businesses are often a hotbed of informal mentoring relationships.
The benefits of mentoring are huge, both for mentors and mentees. Mentoring can help lackluster, lost or straining at the bit workers find their way, try new projects or polish skills. Seasoned souls can share their accumulated business savvy, re-energize their careers and stay in tune. Perhaps best of all, these relationships add value to the company's bottom line, while costing only the participants' time.
Searching for a Mentor
If you're the person in search of a mentor, the best way to find one in a company without a formal mentoring program is to ask individuals directly about their interest in such a pact. But don't knock on a candidate's door cold. Dave Murphy, the editor of the At Work column for the San Francisco Chronicle recommends that Mentees To Be do some prep work first.
Think about the end result. Murphy says the first step is to ask yourself why you want mentoring. Is it to learn better communication skills? Get a grasp on an important software application? Learn the finer points of closing a sale? All these demand different input from your mentor.
Dr. Lois Zachary, Principle of Leadership Development Services and author of The Mentor's Guide (Jossey-Bass), says mentorships are often derailed because of a lack of focus. "Goals are the bench against which you press," says Zachary. "You must have well articulated, well defined and agreed upon goals," she says.
Start small. Be mindful that the mentoring relationship can be a big commitment. "It can be hard to rope someone in if it's for help for every aspect of your career and life," says Murphy. "Instead, ask a mentor for help with a specific project that has a specific time frame." Starting small is not only less intimidating for the mentor, he adds, it gives both people a chance to sniff each other out and see if the relationship will work.
Distinguish yourself. A potential mentor needs to see that you're striving at work. Says Murphy: "Even if they're doing it for altruistic reasons, mentors are going to want the biggest positive result. And they aren't going to get this from a mediocre performer."
Consider alternatives. Stay open to different mentoring arrangements, particularly if you're having trouble finding a taker. Murphy suggests that one alternative is to establish an informal Board of Directors—a group of six or so contacts whom you can call with questions or for advice. "People's time gets spread so thin that sometimes it's tough to find someone willing to be mentor," he says. "This kind of arrangement is not quite as intimidating—and doesn't have the same time commitment—as a formal one-on-one mentorship."
Being a Mentor
Agreeing to mentor a co-worker requires a handful of essential qualities and skills—and plenty of soul searching. Says Zachary: "Each mentoring relationship is unique. Unless you prepare, even those who have mentored before will start off with a bag of assumptions."
Before signing on for mentoring duties, make sure you're equipped with a few basics.
Facile communication skills. The best mentors come to the relationship armed with the ability to make suggestions, listen to concerns and offer constructive criticism. Says Zachary: "You have to work at it, constantly building trust and accountability and constantly having feedback both ways."
Availability. Someone who is constantly on the road or regularly fails to return e-mails or phone calls probably won't cut it as a mentor.
Leadership moxie. Successful mentors have good fingertips for the right balance between helping others and stepping back. Murphy likens apt mentors to museum docents who encourage visitors to wander around the exhibit on their own after the guided talk. This allows the Newbies to learn, even if it's the hard way or they make mistaken assumptions along the way.
The right motives. Says Murphy: "A good mentor takes on the relationship to be more altruistic, not because it's assigned." And he cautions mentors to keep in mind that a mentee is not a coffee and copymaking assistant, but someone to inspire and encourage to new heights.
Learning From Those Above
Mentorships frequently develop between supervisors and the employees they manage. It's a natural fit: the relationship is already established and involves one individual—ostensibly one with more business savvy and experience—helping the other make his or her way through the workday.
Rebecca Sweeney, the Assistant Director of Human Resources for Gary's Operating Inc., a formalwear company based in Van Nuys, California, has had such a boss mentor since she started the job two years ago.
"The atmosphere he instilled—one that has all lines of communication open—made a big difference from the start," says Sweeney. "He has always been very forthcoming and willing to share information with me. This has made me strive to become a better professional, which is very motivating."
Sweeney, whose background is solely in HR, calls her boss "a great resource," in part because he combines his legal expertise from his former days as an attorney with his general knowledge of HR. She also cites his steady support as key to their relationship. "He's always promoted my agenda," says Sweeney. "If I have ideas or projects in mind, it's often been through his support that I've been able to get them done. And he gives me the credit at the end, too."
One of the many projects made possible by her mentor's input involved creating a loss prevention program for the company's retail stores. After hearing Sweeney's idea, her boss helped her research it and get the necessary buy in from the higher ups. Although it took a while—about a year—she was able to implement the project successfully.
Getting to tackle such projects beyond the day to day HR grind is one of the tangible benefits of the mentorship. Says Sweeney: "It's not like 'You just do this.' I feel I can make the job what I want." And she adds: "I feel lucky that I have an opportunity to work in this atmosphere. Not everyone gets such support."
Why Informal Works
Informal mentoring isn't just found in the cubicles of small businesses. Large companies, too, are awash with the relationships that blossom between two individuals already working cheek by jowl.
Stacy Sullivan, HR Director for Internet search engine Google in Mountain View, California, currently has three informal mentors, all of whom were originally her managers. The relationships, which she maintains through talks on the phone, e-mail and meetings, give her more than the standard mentor perqs. "Because they know me from my past, they can help me make decisions that reflect who I am," says Sullivan. She feels that because her mentors are all good friends with whom she socializes, the partnerships have worked—and lasted.
Sullivan has seen formal mentoring programs rise and fall. One former employer developed a mentoring program that paired professional women with influential female leaders. It worked for about six months and then fizzled out, because people moved away and "there wasn't a lot of natural crossover between companies." Adds Sullivan: "You need synergy to make these relationships work."
Tom Mathews, VP of Human Resources for AOL International, the global arm of Internet technology giant America Online, Inc., headquartered in Dulles, Virginia, has participated in a number of mentorships from the other side of the fence, as the mentor. All of the relationships, which are usually with the employees he supervises, have developed informally. Says Mathews: "It seems to me that the stronger relationships build through informal channels."
Mathews credits the success of his mentorships with his love of teaching and a willingness to be open and freely share what he knows. "In return, I get people who are willing to be more open and give back." He reaps benefits as well. "Mentoring others helps me keep very connected to what's going on in the company. Some of these relationships keep me in the thick of it."
But there are challenges in such casual mentoring. "Particularly in informal relationships, you have to watch the tendency to get too close," says Mathews. "It becomes harder to have some of those difficult conversations." And being able to deliver critical, even bad news, he feels, "is an absolute must of mentoring."
Informal mentorships can also risk leaving some employees in the dust. Says Lois Zachary, "Often those who need mentoring the most don't seek it out. Then you need formal programs in place to reach these workers."